Confusion In the Midst of Serenity

The feeling felt as if you're on top of the world (Not that I know how that feels like). It was wish that I wished for three times each year for seven long years. Christmas Wish, Birthday Wish, and New Year's Wish. A wish to just see her again. The girl that I seem to be chasing, not because I want to, but because it just seems right to do so. I don't know if it was perseverance or it was just simply fate, but I finally saw her. If you would like to be spiritual, call it a divine appointment.

The first eye contact, the closest it's ever been (other than Skyping) finally happened. The anxiety I felt for that week was replaced with a simple saying of, "Finally...". The first body contact was a hug. It may not mean much, but it was simply a way to know if she's actually real. My heart beats faster, yet it's calm, knowing that everything is okay.

After everything was said and done, I simply ask myself whether I'm chasing a shadow of the girl of the past or am I really in love with the girl. The answer... is both. I'm chasing a girl who has changed but I learned to accept it, but in the same time... I don't know if I'm doing it cause I want to, I'm doing it cause it just feels right. In the end I felt as confused as before and it doesn't help that I'm doubting my feeling. Sometimes I wonder if I fell for the wrong girl, even though I kept saying to myself that I'll wait... Wait as long as I can. So I'll enjoy this good times... Whether she'll just be another girl in my life or another wish comes true... Only time can tell.